1. Open a meal-plan sponsored 24-hour pizza delivery service.

The 6 million will be paid off in weeks.

2. Become a tourist attraction

Between the underground tunnels and the haunting of Rose Theater I think we could make some big bucks here

3. Apply for a student loan

Spend it now and pay off as little as possible until loan forgiveness kicks in… right??

4. More parking tickets

It’s already out of hand, might as well take it to the next level

5. Slingers m y s t e r i o u s l y reopens as a charity to Southeast

Get drunk while investing in your college education

6. Charge one dollar everytime someone posts about spam emails on living at Southeast

Two dollars for complaining about Chartwells

7. Start selling pyramid scheme products on facebook

CHECK this OUT!!! ‼️👀 It really works 🦄🥐🗿 DM me to learn MORE AbOuT mY PROductS 💰♑️🆒 #WillToDo #WillToJoinMyTeamToday

8. *Greitens calls wondering why we didn’t stick to the budget*

“New phone, who dis?”

9. Turn off the wifi

It’s not like it ever worked anyway